The This Post Needs to be Read Post

Yeah, so I have a problem with people telling me that riding "isn't a sport" or that "horses do all the work".
No. Just no.
A horse is a 1200 pound prey animal that has a mind of its own.
A prey animal means that it will feel threatened EVERY TIME something is on its back because they think it's a predator!! So getting a horse to the point of dealing with and accepting a rider is a huge task.
Secondly, you're sitting at least 5 feet in the air because horses are big.
Thirdly, horses don't understand English. It doesn't matter how many times you say "woah" or "good pony" they will still ignore you if they're scared. Horses have a one track mind so if they are scared, all they will think about is being scared. Yeah, there's no reasoning with them.
Do you know how hard it is to get a horse to move when you weigh 125 pounds? IT'S PRETTY HARD! ESPECIALLY when you're sitting on their back and have to balance in order to not fall off and get trampled.
Once you get the horse moving, you have to communicate what you want it to do wIthout saying anything, using only your body. Yeah, that's crazy difficult!
You know what else is difficult? Getting a horse to go over a 3 foot jump that DOESN'T COLLAPSE if you hit it. That's right, I'm talking about galloping at a mostly solid jump that will not come apart if you hit it, it may move, but that doesn't prevent a rotational fall. Plain and simple. If you hit it, hold on and get out of your horses way.
That my friends is called cross country.
Horses have a blind spot directly in front of their face, so you bet your ass that they would not jump that thing if it weren't for you riding them through a course.
Another thing, if you want to work well with a horse, he's gotta respect you. That respect is so crucial to being able to perform well together.
Horses have thin, delecate legs. You have to take care of them and protect them the best you can. I've invested in $150 boots just for my horses front legs. Owning a horse is NOT cheap.
Nor is it painless. Countless times I have ended up with dirt in my pants and bruised bones because my horse threw me or didn't want to go over the jump. You have to be tough to be able to take a beating from an animal 10 times your size and STILL want to work with it.
Mostly, you have to have a passion and a desire to work and succeed with your horse. Riding isn't about competing for anything but a partnership and a love that will last you a lifetime. You have to earn every single thing that a horse has to offer because they are flighty animals.
Honestly, riding is 100% the best thing ever.
It has made me tough.
It's made me confident.
It's made me happy.
It's broken me.
It's fixed me.
It's made me poor.
It's made me sad.
It's hurt me.
It's helped me trust.
It saved my life.

If you're reading this, I just want you to think about this post the next time that you want to diss my sport. You have no idea what any sport means to anyone, let alone what it takes to do it.

The Pain Post

Holy hell.

OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Multiply that by a billion and that is how much I hurt. I want to cry. Really badly.

The I Feel a Need to Post Post

Nothing overly interesting happened today. I bought stuff for my ponies and Sarah came and visited. :)

My mouth hurts worse than yesterday and is a tad more swollen, but apparently its on the road to recovery!

I bought the book "101 Eventing Tips" today and it has me really craving a nice ride on Atlas, but I don't think that will happen until I can eat solid food again, or at least until my mouth stops hurting.

Both of us are so out of shape it's not even funny, hopefully we can start our lessons soon because we both need them. Bad.

I really wanted to start competing in smaller shows this summer, but I don't know if that's gonna happen or not, maybe if we work really hard for the next little bit we will be able to start! Anyway, here's a picture of us schooling cross country back in September!

The I Hate Anesthetic Post

Well, really it's a love hate thing, but it just made me sick, so right now I hate it.

I've had a pretty relaxing day of sleeping and watching 90210, but by the time 9:00 rolled around I was starved, and pudding just wasn't cutting it.

Momma bear made me a scrambled egg and I ate it in about half an hour, but not even all of it. I decided it wad time to go downstairs and go to bed, so I gathered my things from my parents room and wandered down to the middle level.
Daddy gave me a glass of salt water to swish and clean my stitches, but it was really gross!

I did it anyway and I started to feel light headed, so I sat down and half passed out on the kitchen counter. Daddy helped me down the stairs, but I needed to go to the bathroom and he went up to get my glass of water. Apparently the mixture of the Anesthetic, T3's, Torodol, eggs, pudding, milk, water, mango/pineapple smoothie and moving for the first time all day, caused my stomach to upset itself.
Let's just say I'm no longer hungry.
I do feel better though, I'm not light headed anymore!

I really hope that the aching of my jaw and blood taste in my mouth will allow me to sleep though! Anyway, I'm off to bed!

PS, my dad is making me sleep with the door open just in case I get sick again. I hate sleeping with the door open and in all honesty it scares me a little.

PPS, I don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight cause I usually sleep on my stomach because it's more comfortable, but I obviously can't do that with stitches in my mouth and my face being in pain.

The Post Wisdom Teeth Post

Well I'm alive.
I got home around noon and slept for the last three and a half hours.
They put me to sleep before I knew what was happening.
They had my IV in and took me to the operating room, the doctor put a little something of some kind into my bloodstream, I don't remember what it was, and then the nurse told me to take three big, deeeep breaths in through the oxygen mask and then start breathing normal. The next thing I knew, I was waking up on a bed next to some attractive guy in a different bed and I had a big bandage around my head, gauze on my face, and drool on my numb chin. Oh, and my tongue felt like a dead chunk of meat stuck in my mouth.
I was disoriented and the nurse helped me into the wheelchair. She wanted to take me downstairs, but almost left without my jacket. I tried to tell her, but she told me not to talk.
We went in an elevator, and I was too confused, and numb, to notice until it was too late.
We finally got me home and my body is in shock so I'm in my moms bed with two extra blankets on.
We took the gauze out of my mouth and they were just covered in blood.
My mom then tried to feed me a vanilla milkshake with a spoon.. I dribbled a lot on my face because my bottom lip is super numb. Then I tried to drink some milk while I took two T3's and a Toradol. It's hard to drink milk when your face is numb.
After that, I put new gauze in and slept for three hours. Now that I finally have my phone, I'm trying to eat a peach mango fruitcicle, but my jaw and mouth hurts so bad that I can barely open my mouth. And I'm not allowed to use straws.
Anyway, so that's how it went so far, I'm not dead but in pain, and I'm ugly, like holy crap, so ugly, but I'll post a picture anyway cause its already on Facebook..

The Night Before my Wisdom Teeth Come Out Post

Well as of 15 minutes from when I'm writing this, I'll no longer be able to eat solid food for multiple days.

This makes me sad, because I like food. Especially solid food. Specifically tacos, Chinese and Baconators, but not in that order.

Like I mentioned in my previous post, I'm nervous. I don't usually admit to that, but I will in this case. Not just because they're knocking me out and putting stitches in my mouth, but because tomorrow is the first day in my 17 years of life that I am permitting myself to wear pyjamas in public, but not just any pyjamas, my lucky, ho pink pyjama pants with Thumper on them that my grandma bought from the Disney store when I was in grade 6. Yes, they still fit and are super comfy.
If you want to see this, stop by my house in the next couple of days, I don't see me going anywhere anytime soon.

But yeah, I figured you guys would enjoy that chunk of history from my life. :)

So with that, I bid you all adieu and am heading to sleep. My surgery is at 10:30 so don't expect a post before noon, unless I wake in the middle of the night and feel the need to blog.

The Art Post

If there's one thing that helps me get through a rough time, it's being able to do art. It really helps me get my emotions out for the world to see in a way that makes me happy and it makes me feel accomplished.

It's really hard for me to find time when I'm comfortable to do art and where I have to time to finish what I start.

Art is one of those things that you can't rush. It doesn't matter what it is, you can't rush it, or it will turn out shitty.

I make sure to keep my sketchbook as close to me as humanly possible in case I see something super cool or something that is just begging to be drawn.

Sometimes, if I'm having a super bad day I will journal my problems out and then scribble over it and draw on it and it will help me feel much better.

Other times, it just helps to give me a blank piece of paper, some pencils, maybe a bit of charcoal and just to set me loose.

I've been working on this one for my AP submission since last week and I'm finally starting to really pull it together.

The Actual CALM Class Post

So since my first CALM post was accidentally deleted, I figured I would write another. This time tomorrow, I will be unconscious with stitches in place of my wisdom teeth.

Not gonna lie I'm kind of nervous. I've never been put to sleep before, nor have I had stitches. I'm going to be missing the rest of this week from school, so I'll be quite lonely. I'm hoping someone, or multiple someones will come visit me.

I'm supposed to be doing homework for all of my classes, but I really don't see that happening anytime soon.

I need to find things that I can do in a half conscious state that will not cause me bodily or mental harm... Any ideas would be greatly appreciated, as would visitors!

I'm sure in my half conscious post of tomorrow, you will see what my face looks like.. I'm just going to be a big bag of ugly.

The First Late Night Post

I think I'm going to name my posts based on the time or setting or what kind of mood I'm in, just like in friends when they use "the one..."

Anyway.
I think I'm feeling a bit better than earlier. I had a talk with a great, brotherly friend, and it really helped a lot. I still feel like shit, but it helped a lot.

I guess sometimes I just get in that mindset that everything is just crashing down and getting worse and worse, and I know that I really need help or something, but I feel that my problems are just so minuscule compared to everything else that other people have to deal with. I still feel like that. And it makes me feel crappier. My brain says "there are people dying out there and you're worried about THIS? How pathetic."
Yeah, I put myself down a lot of the time because I feel like I deserve it.
Hopefully a nice, long, hard ride on Atlas will help me break loose from everything and help ease my mind, even if it's for only an hour. My horses are the only things I can count on to be there when it counts, they will listen, and they won't interrupt me when I'm trying to say something important. They are the two things in my life that always help me wake up in the morning when I feel like I have nothing else.

The Working on Being Posted Post

I accidentally deleted the CALM post.. Sorry folks. You really didn't miss anything. My life still sucks, I love the Script, but I'm not longer in the computer lab.

Everything is still wrong. I still can't do anything right. I had a talk with a great friend and it helped a bit, but I'm still in a pretty shitty mood.

My wisdom teeth are coming out on Wednesday which just makes all of this a billion times worse. But it's okay cause I get to miss school. I still have to do the work for it though. My face will be the size of a squash and it will be bruised too. I'll post a picture in a later blog because it will be pretty funny. But yeah, the only thing worth posting.

The First Work Post

Well, I'm sitting writing this in our lovely back room at Lammle's. I'm enjoying my Subway and my Starbucks quite a bit, except for the fact that I'm tired as fuck and I have a buttload of homework to do when I get home.

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like you're never good enough? I'm having one of those months. I blame that stupid breakup, but that's just me. It was a gong show.

I thought everything was fine, but it came back and slapped me in the face.. On Facebook. How's that for helping me feel better about myself? I was completely devastated. I mean, who wouldn't be? It is so rude, and so cowardly that you can only imagine how I felt.
I don't know, I've just been thinking about that a lot lately and it sucks. But I've also been thinking and I need to break out of that box and be rebellious, especially considering I turn 18 in like 6 months.

I don't know, it's just surreal to have so many thoughts swirling through my head making me feel like such a bad person because of everything I've done. I can't even begin to comprehend it.

I guess I'm just tired, so everything is surfacing and running through my brain, so I'm sitting here, spending my break, telling the world how much my life is sucking right now. This isn't even half of it, but I don't feel like explaining it all right now.

Uh oh.. I've Been Thinking..

Well, my half conscious post got me thinking...
I am not an overly rebellious kid.
Really.
I usually stay home, by myself, and eat whatever is in the cupboard whilst StumbleUponing and playing music.
I felt that this was an acceptable way of life until my not so stellar breakup.. I was a little bit devastated. But that will come at a later time, I'm sure I'll end up doing a recollection of my worst memories when I go through another "depression" phase.. Don't ask.
I think I need to do the whole "teenager thing" a bit more.. But that's just my opinion. Some people are all like "don't do that thing it's bad for you, you should know better than that BLAH BLAH BLAH". I am so sick of people trying to influence my life and "protect" me. Yes, I know some  of it is irresponsible and stupid, I KNOW THIS! I have a conscious, I DO HAVE A BRAIN! I really appreciate that people care about me, but I don't need it shoved down my throat all the time.
Anyway.. My last summer as a high school student is coming up and I need some ideas to make it the BEST SUMMER EVER. I mean, partying, working, spending time at the beach, going to Kentucky and spending time with my ponies is obviously on the list, but I need to do other things too..
/rant off/
Anyway, I just realized that I have a date with a lovely birthday girl to go laser tagging in about an hour, so I have to make it look like I didn't stay up all night last night!

Happy St. Paddy's Day everyone! Drink some green beer and stay out of places you shouldn't be! ;)

Oh look guys, a partially unconscious post!

Well it's 3:30 in the morning and Sarah and I just starte watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part two. Yeah, prolly gonna be a great rest of the night. I'm gonna cry haha. I know it.
But today, we had a crazy awesome adventure! We went bowling, we bought horse treats, we had a couple of close calls, I BOUGHT A DRESS ( it never happens) and we partied like rock stars with some pretty great people, just to get up at 10 and go our separate ways. Yeah, we're crazy. ;) but were a good time! All in all, it was a fantastic day with even better people!

The Wake After the Apocalypse

So last night I had this dream about the apocalypse.
This isn't uncommon for me, at all.
So we had a fleet of two vehicles: a van with a wheelchair lift and a big jacked up truck.
There was snow, and I was wearing my slippers.
I don't mean there was just snow, there were also frozen ravines, cliffs and that sort of thing and we were back in my home province driving to my grandparents house in the middle of nowhere.
That drive always scared me as a child. There was so much twisting and turning and winding. There was also water, lots of water because we had to follow the coast to get there.
Anyway, so my dream was going as normal as a dream about the apocalypse could go. Killed a few zombies, got stuck in the snow, etc. but what you don't usually think of in a zombie apocalypse was rescued from hits snowy trap. That's right, some tall, sexy guy got stuck in the snow in a Lamborghini LP-570-4 SL.
During the zombie apocalypse.

Anyway, I won't tell you guys the rest of my dream, but we did get him unstuck.
Also, for a moment when I woke up, I thought the apocalypse had actually happened because my phone had 3 texts and 2 phone calls from a frantic friend wondering if I was alive or not. She's the best. :)

I think I will just do multiple posts a day because sometimes interesting things happen. Also, here's a picture of that Lamborghini:

The Cherry Pop

Well.. I've done it... I've broken down and started a blog.


Um.. I'm not sure where to start. 


I am your average teenage girl. 
Averagely pretty.
Averagely brunette.
Averagely distracted.
Averagely hit on.
Averagely irresponsible.
Averagely cowgirl.
Averagely artistic.
Averagely clumsy.
Averagely lazy.
Averagely alone.
Averagely nerdy.
Averagely lame.
Averagely skinny.
Averagely smart.
Averagely tall.
Averagely unintelligent in all ways shapes and forms when it comes to important things in my daily adventures.
Yes, my life is an adventure, considering I'm involved. 


I like the same things that everyone likes. 


Anyway.
Zombies are a prime example. I will survive the apocalypse, seriously.
Another example is parties. I like meeting new people and having fun. That is no surprise to some people and a complete shock to others. You can decide.
Pirates are another. They can do everything that drunk people can, only without showering and with a sword. ON THE OCEAN! 


I am good at math. It makes me so happy it's scary.
If you put something like: tan(37)=48/x in front of me, my heart beats a little faster and I reach for the nearest calculator. 


I have a part time job at a lovely Western Wear store.


I take an unnecessary amount of pictures of everything.Especially if they include me. 


Speaking of which...

Hairstache, anyone?

I have two horses. I think they are pretty, and special. Other people just think they're special and they are annoyed about my speaking of their prettyness. 


Here's some prettyness for you:

See? Special AND pretty! 

Well, if you've made it this far, congratulations! It only gets better from here.. 


PS, they all will not be this long.. I just wanted to make this fairly inaugural.