The Update Post

I don't know why it says that this post was posted in May.. It is November 3rd.. There's snow on the ground.. 

So, life has taken an insane turn over the last few months. I've had to stop and reevaluate everything that I've known for the last year. I graduated high school, I was accepted to the Equine Science program at a local college, my Breeze came home to me, and I had my heart shattered by the man that I thought loved me. 

I don't know if it hurts more knowing that someone doesn't know how they feel about you, or that they can't bring themselves to tell you that they love you. 

It's like a form of rejected that I can't even describe. It starts at your core, and a fiery, burning sensation just rips through your whole body until you're in tears, again, usually on the floor, hugging your dog and asking him why it always has to be you. 

Surprisingly enough, despite all of this, I've also managed to somehow meet an amazing guy who actually wants to spend time with me. He makes me feel like I can do absolutely anything and it doesn't matter. I am so lucky to have met someone like him, and I don't even know how I deserve him. He's so sweet, and he's funny, and he tells me how beautiful that he thinks I am, and I really love it. It makes me feel like I'm actually special and that I mean something to him. :) I don't think that I can even describe the way that he makes me feel at thus point, all I know is that I'm happy and I don't know what I would do without him. Even though he lives about 40 minutes away, he still drives out to school to see me every chance that he gets.. It's just amazing how much he cares, even though we've only really been together a little while. He even puts up with me talking about what used to be, with Trevor, even though I know it must be so hard for him to listen to. He's someone that I know I can count on and will treat me the way that I deserve. I miss him so much, all the time, and it is so hard to deal with, but it is worth it because I am really enjoying school. :) it is so scary that I've met someone that I'm so interested in and that is so interested in me, but it makes me just so happy at the same time. His name is James and he is phenomenal. :)