The last few days have seriously taken a toll on me. I think I'm going through another one of those phases where I'm just sad about everything and I can't help it.
I should be happy. I have no reason to be sad. I mean, things aren't perfect, but they could sure be a hell of a lot worse.
I think one of my problems is that I put far more effort into things than most people do, and it does nothing but hurt me in the end. Another thing is that the small things mean everything to me. Especially when it comes to something or someone that I care about.
Since Sunday morning, I honestly can't show any emotion through anything but crying. I cried in the shower Sunday morning, I almost cried at work on Sunday, I cried myself to sleep Sunday night, I cried when I woke up Monday morning, and here I am, Monday night, in tears again. I don't know what is wrong with me, or why I'm so sad, but my heart just aches. You know, the kind of ache when it feels like someone is stepping on your chest and slowly pushing all the blood out of your heart until you're at the point where you can't breathe.
I just don't know why. Every little thing is upsetting me, or disappointing me, or just plain frustrating me.
I can't seem to put my thoughts into words, and when I do, they come out in gibberish and mean nothing that I intended them to. I just wish people could feel the emotions that you're feeling, just so they would understand why you have a certain reaction to something.
All I want is for someone to hug me and never let me go, not because they feel bad for me, or they feel like they have to, but because they love me and they don't want to let me go, or they can't bring themselves to let me go.
That is honestly all that I need right now.
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