Something fantastic starts in my life and I go and screw it up. I hate it.
Nothing has ever been able to go smoothly in my life. Everything just gets complicated and crashes down on top of me.
Last year, something happened to me that I haven't been able to forget about. Okay, more like someone, but that doesn't matter. A couple of months ago, I thought I was over it.. Nope. :( it was thrown right in my face bringing back everything that I've tried to forget about. I just want to curl up and die.
Everything is just so confusing if you throw other things into the equation because it all just ties together and makes a big mess that ends with me being crushed, again.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I know, it's weird for me to show any emotion at all, but this is killing me and I just needed to get it out for the world to see.
I'm so confused, and so hurt that I honestly just don't know what to do with myself anymore. Everything is just snowballing downhill and headed straight off the edge of a cliff.
Last time I checked, I wasn't that bad of a person, so why is karma all up in my face and just destroying me? I mean, you'd never tell by looking at me, but every day of my life, I'm hurting. I'm so good at pretending that everything is okay that it just seems natural to me now.
I am not writing this for attention, or sympathy, or anything like that. I am simply writing this because writing something for just myself to see isn't enough for me. I want every one to see this so that they know even the bravest, most confident people are hurting inside.
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